Cold, Cold, Cold, and Cold!

Oh, did I mention that I am COLD??? This seems to be my mantra for the past month! I am ALWAYS cold......not sure what is up with that! Maybe it's cause I have lost 78 pounds........but I will be damned if I want them back. So it's wrapped in sweaters and blankets, lots of coffee, and wool socks for me! I am loving it.

So we got an elf this Christmas and the boys are loving it. I will get some of the pictures up so that you can all see what he has been up to. The boys named him Jingle and I must admit, this is so much fun! The boys are really getting into it. They go to their Dad's this weekend so I am sure that the elf will get into some major mischief.

I am sorry that I haven't been keeping up my blog as well as I should be or keeping up with you all! Maybe that is what happens when life takes over. Mom and I did a 5K on Dec. 1st and we finished in just under an hour which is awesome. We are planning on doing a Climb for the American Lung Association where we climb 32 floors!!!! Maybe we will survive that!

After the race we did all of our Christmas decorating! We have soooo much. My best present this year has been the progress that Cole has made. He is doing the potty thing and talking soooo much more! I plan on catching up on all your lives this weekend. I hope that you are all doing well with the weight loss and still enjoying the wonderful holidays!

Election Tuesday

So there are a couple of things I want to talk about besides the election. First off, for my mom's birthday I got her tickets to go see Mary Poppins the play and it was AMAZING! We loved it and had a great time. Her best friend and her daughter went with us and it was just a great memory for all of us to make together. Secondly, my big news of the week is that I FINALLY hit the 250's it seems like this has taken FOREVER!!!!!!! I am officially 256.5 lbs and that puts me at a 73 lb loss. I can't believe how far I have come, it's amazing how much this has changed my life. I remember losing my first couple of pounds and thinking this is gonna take forever and I didn't think I could do it. I am past the half way mark now.

So about this election, I am going to vote when the boys get out of school because Adam wants to go with me. I think that is amazing! I remember going with my parents and wanting so badly to be a part of what they were doing. I do not have a political party, I vote for the person, and if I was perfectly honest, I am not entirely thrilled with either of our choices. I usually steer clear of political conversations so I will keep this vague, all I want you to do, is go VOTE!

This is a right in our country that we should exercise with pride, I don't care who you vote for as long as you do it! There are people all over the world who are dying to have this opportunity, to have a say in how their government is ran. I will proudly take my son to the polls with me today, and en still in him the importance of what we are doing.

Halloween!!!!!!!!!

So life got in the way and I haven't been blogging. This is a good thing right? That or I have had writers block and no idea what to write about until now!

So we just had Halloween, which in my house as been HUGE ever since I can remember because it is also my mom's birthday. When I was growing up she always dressed up with us which I got a kick out of, she still does and I have joined her and my kids have a BLAST.  So first we will cover costumes, because as we all know this was a big issue for me :)

We start with the boys because as you can see they are just stinking adorable. This was Cole's 2nd year going as Mario, but he needed a new costume cause he won't stop growing! It was Adam's idea that they go at the Mario Brothers.....I think it's awesome and Cole was just as excited to do it. The mustache's didn't stay on long cause they tickled, but it's ok at least I got pictures.

Here we are together and as you can see we look AMAZING! This has to be one of my favorite costumes of all time! It was sooooo much fun. So Cole didn't do much trick or treating, he went to one house. It was REALLY cold. Adam on the other hand, we walked about 3-4 miles and he filled two pumpkins full of candy so there is plenty for the both of them. He had a blast, and so did I which is all that matters!

After trick or treating we had cupcakes for Gram's birthday! I made them all by myself, very yummy and I only had one.

As I think I wrote in an earlier post, I have a huge fear of clowns. My friend Erin came down from Chicago a couple weekends ago and we went to a scary house at an old Insane Asylum near here, which is thought to be really haunted. It was totally scary.....

As you can see, this guy was trying really hard to get me to look at him. I never did!

So Halloween wasn't all sweets and games, I got some exercise in too....

This was a VERY cold morning up in Naperville with my 5k running partner Aunt Suz....we had fun and I have my last 5k on Dec. 1st for the year. I am pretty excited and I am down 7 more pounds! With the holidays approaching I am focusing on staying on track and the family time! Not the food :)

10 Things Thursday

1. On Facebook I keep seeing all kinds of statistics about Autism. Statistics are basically a crock pile of horse manure. Especially when people just throw numbers out and give you no information. So 1 in 88 kids are diagnosed with Autism. No, Autism is not on the rise people....and no these numbers shouldn't scare us! The truth is that we are better at diagnosing Autism then we ever have been. Catching it early is key people!!!!! What should scare us is the lack of accessibility of the therapies to help these kids learn to cope with their sensory needs!

2. Why is it that when you get divorced some Dad's seem to think that they can do LESS??? Why wouldn't you want to call your kids EVERYDAY!!??

4. I love my coffee...but I might have a slight addiction to it. I am now on cup number 4!

5.  My friend is coming down from Chi-town this weekend with her son and we are heading to an awesome haunted house! So excited.

6. Fred water rocks my world!

7. I hate dating!

8. I am so madly in love with my kids it scares me. Except when Adam says "Let me tell you, I am not putting my shirts away." Really little boy? You shouldn't mess with your mother, she can make you miserable! LOL

9. I don't think that me and this running thing are getting along, but I am determined to conquer this damn thing!

10. I am truly thankful for all the wonderful people in my life who support me and help me whenever I need it.       

24 years ago.....

This is Adam Harris...yes my Adam is named after him. He was 3 years old when he was diagnosed with Burkitt's Lymphoma. I was a mere 7....such tender ages to experience something so profound. You know that question that you always get asked...."Who is your hero?" Mine was never an athlete, or movie star, or politician. It was Adam. The strength and faith that this little boy taught me has carried me through the years.

I was always annoyed by my little brother just like any other sister. We fought....even after he was diagnosed. I actually looked at him one rainy day while playing in the garage and said "It's ok, cause when you die your trucks will be mine." How awful, I still feel guilty for that to this day. The horrible things we say as children.

Today it has been 24 years since Adam died....I was 8. I remember vividly that day....and night. It forever changed everything.....it was my loss of innocence which my sister would tell you is where my fear of clowns come from! Yes, I deal with everything with a bit of humor. I was never the invincible teen, I knew what could happen.

Cherish every moment, make sure you do today and say today what you need to. Tomorrow may not come....always kiss your kids goodbye, good night, and just for no reason. God and I struggle back and forth with my anger and my pain, but today will be a good day! Adam my have only lived for four years but the point is he lived. He loved everyone and wanted to save everything. I commend my parents for allowing Adam to be involved in his treatment, I realize as a parent now how difficult it had to be to allow treatment to stop....even if there was very little hope of success. I no longer blame them...they did an amazing job thinking of what was best for Adam as well as me!

I am who I am today....because I knew this amazing little man! All my love is sent to you in heaven today!

An Autism Birthday

Well Cole is now officially six....and as if I didn't have enough going on last week we had to throw in his birthday which is much harder to plan then Adam's. Large groups can make Cole uncomfortable so I always try and do something intimate with close friends and family. Usually this takes place at our home because Cole is most comfortable here. But lets face it I HATE kid's birthday's. Making food, planning, cleaning up, the noise....ALL OF IT! No one told me when I had kids that I had to do birthday parties too!

So this year we thought outside of the box....we made reservations at the Fish Bowl at Bass Pro....it was a hit! He loved it, I made him eat dinner first and then he threw a fit once the bowling was over. I am a horrible mother, I got no pictures of him bowling, or opening gifts, or interacting with other kids.

His dad and step mom came with his sister which was nice and they actually paid half of the cost. We had an awesome Autism birthday...

I love these pic's. He was so involved with the cake and candles....even if he doesn't eat the cake :)

What's Shakin??

So I plan and organize the Ice Cream Social for my kids school. Which typically is a blast...but let me tell you what a pain it has been this year!!!! We have a pumpkin auction where we ask the middle and high school students to paint some pumpkins that we can auction. They are usually a big hit....I email those art teachers at the beginning of the school year so that we have plenty of time to organize seeing as October kind of creeps up a little fast.....or as my awesome friend Amy calls it "Rocktober".

Naturally these teachers decided to wait and reply to my many emails and messages on Thursday...did I check my email while in Chicago....of course not....that is crazy! Why on earth would I check my email when I took the trouble to pack my lap top! So I didn't get the email until last night....I ran this morning after the PTC treasure ran a check to my house and I bought 21 pumpkins....I got them delivered and did all my other errands.

I then cam home and cleaned up the house. I guess my birthday and vacation are OVER! Reality has crept back into my life and so has exercises and diet. I am eating better and start running today. My Aunt got me to sign up for another 5k on October 27th. I need to get back into the swing of sparkpeople.com again as well! I am looking forward to Friday when I head to my fave local bar and have a few drinks with friends. I am excited about the size LARGE...yes you hear correctly.....this fatty squeezed into a size LARGE dress....just you wait....it's pretty darn cute! I will post pictures!

It's Monday and My Birthday

So, normally Monday's would suck big time. However I am coming down from an awesome weekend where I met some pretty cool people, got completely drunk a couple times, shopped til I dropped, and walked all over Chicago......with one small cause of sickness....and it's My Birthday!

We had a Long long long long long long long train ride home yesterday, then a 45 min drive home! But we made it....Cole was asleep when I got here...Adam was awake but not nearly as excited as I had hopped. They both loved their gifts and Adam complained that is all he got....ungrateful! LOL Christmas will be fun!

I got some awesome birthday presents and my parents took us to eat at Red Lobster which was ymmy. Now, I am curled up watching the Bears Game and relaxing....I am looking forward to some relaxing time....but my next 5k is apparently on Oct. 27th that my aunt has talked me into! Back to training I go......so wish I had worked out now in Chicago! LOL

Hope that everyone had an awesome fun weekend! I had some fun times ya'll.

My Friday Ramble

So yes, it's Friday and I am more then motivated to go exercise. I am somewhat sore from Body Pump...but when am I not???? When I walk outside its raining...are you kidding me????? I hate...no correction, I loathe running on the track at the gym. It is so boring and the scenery stinks.

I instead have all the candle's in my house light and keep watching for the rain to stop. For those who don't know  I am a candle whore in the same way that I am a horror movie whore! Yes, that time of year is once again upon us and I can't wait to hit the movie theater.

So Adam, my 8 year old decided to bring home his drama club form yesterday....as his aunt says he is a "Drama King" he comes by it naturally....I am a "Drama Queen" of sorts. So he is all ready to be an actor...this is the same kid who got sent to his room last week for talking back and his response you ask, in his most Adam like tone he says "Fantastic.....That is EXACTLY what I wanted to go do!" He has a bright future as an Actor/Scientist/Musician/Artist/Dad....I think that is his list thus far!

Cole hasn't eaten much in three days! I wish I could be like him, live on freezer pops, lays, grapes, apples, water, and the occasional meal from McDonald's and still have rock hard abs! He has turned around in school though I think!

Looking forward to the Bears this weekend! Urlacher is my honey!

Happy Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I still feel FAT!

So this fat girl is down 63 pounds which is awesome right...yet there are times when I still feel fat. I was so excited to go to Chicago last weekend and do my 5K...My best friend Neal walks faster then I can run! He always has, in high school that wasn't a big deal cause I could easily keep up....well Not...any...more!

He kept turning around asking if I was coming....I was not complaining mind you. He can go as fast as he wants! I will just meet him wherever we are going LOL. It just made me feel fat!

Feeling fat moment number two...looking at the pictures. I realize that they are a lot different then this time last year...yet I still see "fat girl"! I wish that she would just leave already.

My Aunt and Uncle were full of compliments on how great I looked and how proud and fierce I am. It's not that I don't believe them, or that I am not thankful for the uplifting comments.....I just don't always feel that way.

Fat moment number three...oh wait this is a skinny moment....I ran to catch the bus and the train and kept up with Neal...now this was just a dash. However, when we were up for my birthday last year....which yes was at the same time all the wonderful ladies were up....I couldn't run to save my life!

So today I dragged the "fat girl" back to the gym and we did Body Pump together! I ran into my high school counselor whom I LOVE! She is awesome and hopefully convinced her to join Zumba....tomorrow morning I shall start my three mile run/walk training for my next 5k Dec. 1. I am pretty stoked about it. The count down is nearing ladies....I cannot wait to meet you all! I workout so I can drink...so if anyone wants to join in some Chicago running or something let me know! 

I promise to try and leave "fat girl" at home and not bring her to Chicago with me. But no guarantee's the damn bitch seems to sneak up on me at times!

My 5K PLUS weekend

So Saturday morning I woke up and got ready and my dad and I headed out making our way to Chicago for the Make A Wish 5K. We stopped at Dunkin Donuts....I LOVE their coffee, I haven't had a donut in probably a year until Saturday...but we all deserve a treat now and then.

I drove ALL the way to Chicago which I have never done before, I have always rode. My best friend Neal lives right off 90/94 aka The Dan Ryan for those of you that know which is high traffic! I only ticked one person off and lets face it....she had no reason to be mad! LOL Once we got to his Condo we decided to head down town for lunch and walk to Navy Pier....which I had never been too!

Neal took us to his fave mexican place downtown and they made fresh guacamole right at our table! The food was amazing. I wish I had taken a picture of my taco's...but oh well. After lunch we walked three miles to Navy Pier. Which was AWESOME! My dad and I also shared a funnel cake which was yummy! Afterwards we headed back to Neal's condo.

 This is the view from the top balcony of Neal's. I sat up here with my book and some water reading while the guys ran to the store for fish and things for dinner. It was peaceful and the view is even better at night. I can't wait to go back....with the boys soon!

I think I actually walked/ran a 10k over two days LOL.

The morning of the Make-A-Wish 5k we headed to Montrose Harbor and met my Aunt and Uncle.

It was a beautiful morning!

Before the race!

At the start line!

at the finish!

I didn't finish in 45 mins like my goal. But I did do it in an hour. I am just glad I was able to do it a year ago I don't think I would have been able. I am thinking of doing another 5k December 1st! The accomplishment feels amazing. I did learn that I need to hydrate better before and after. I ended up with a killer headache Sunday night!

My Week in Review

So, I have been a major slacker this week in just about everything! But Hey, we all deserve to have that at least every so often right?

Sunday- We started out good, taking my boys on The Rock Island Trail near our home. Cole was already tired when we started and I could have easily done 6 miles or more....Adam wouldn't have been happy but he would have done it. So we went 1 1/2 and then turned around and went back. However, Cole did not like this idea one bit....for those who don't know...Cole is autistic and he will walk FOREVER sometimes. My dad has had to call me to come pick them up because Cole won't turn around and head home! SO.....I carried him for about a 1/4 mile. Cole weighs about 50 lbs....I can't believe that I carried that on my body!

Monday- I spent the day around the house. I actually cooked dinner that night....we had bacon and eggs LOL if that is actually cooking. I had great ideas from pinterest...just no energy to actually do them. Helped the boys with some homework...fought with Adam about reading! DIDN'T GO TO ZUMBA, I am going to hell for sure.

Tuesday- Over slept! Got the boys off to school, got my self ready and headed to get gas and pick-up Subway for me and Adam to take on his field trip to the ZOO. Our Zoo sucks....although we do have 4 new baby Tigers. But the rest is nothing to get excited about. When you are a third grader though it doesn't take much to impress you! I spent the day with them...it was fun! Came home and had to get ready for Back to School Night, I am the PTC Secretary so I had to go. But even if I wasn't I think that this is important...it's a great time to meet the teachers and other parents in the class! We went to Culver's for dinner....Epic fail! But I only had a Tenderloin so it wasn't so bad!

Wednesday- Cleaned most of the day and had to pick the boys up from school so we could make it to their Hair cuts at 4! Cole did his whole hair cut without any electronics! It was amazing and he looks great. If I wasn't going to hell for not going to Zumba on Monday.....today will get me there. Not only did I not go to Zumba AGAIN.....I picked up Chinese and McDonald's of the kids.....nothing more to say.

Thursday- I hardly ate anything....ran some errands with my mom. I actually cooked tacos for dinner and still didn't work out! My first 5k is approaching on Sunday and I am not ready! I will do the best that I can....maybe I will redeem myself from going to hell. It's for Make-A-Wish which is an awesome organization. My Aunt is doing it with me which should be twice as fun! Getting excited about BOOBS!!!!!!!!! Hope you all are too :)

My Best Friend

I have two best friends and I am one lucky gal. But for this post we are going to be getting to know Brandi, she is amazing! I met her when I was 18 and she was 16. While we had gone to the same high school I didn't know here. We started working together at a video rental store. Man was she annoying, she was a giggly girl, which lets face it I NEVER was. We worked together for about a year before I switched jobs and she ended up dating one of my friends. We drifted apart, cause we really weren't that close.

My boyfriend and I ran into them at the movies about a year later, and that was all she wrote. We got really close. I went away to Illinois State Univeristy and she would come visit. I got engaged that fall, I was rooming with my best friend from high school, but I was miserable there. She tried to commit suicide after her boyfriend broke up with her and we started to drift a part. I started sleeping at my friend Neal's dorm (he will be a whole other post). I went home for Thanksgiving break and was at Brandi's house one night.....I was in the bathroom puking from nerves of going back to school. She caught me and convinced me to talk to my parents and even offered to go with me. After talking to my parents we decided that I would come home at the end of the semester. My roommate didn't take it well. We had a blow up fight because she wanted to control my life!

I moved home and got a job. Brandi and I spent a lot of time together and I asked her to be my maid of honor, she cried and said yes. We have been through breaking up with a fiance, two weddings, a few deaths, a divorce, the birth of four kids, her father's amazing recovery from alcoholism, going to college together, and numerous other daily life struggles. When I need to cry, she is there. When I need to have a drink, she is there. There isn't anything she wouldn't do for me and I for her. My mom told me once that if you have one friend like this in a life time, you are lucky. Well I must be blessed because I have two.

Brandi always supports me and we will forever be connected. She doesn't judge me. We are totally different people when it comes to some things, but I make her laugh and she makes me laugh. She is my therapist and I can't imagine life with out her. She became a nurse last summer and I am so very proud of her. She use to call herself stupid, and she isn't. She is one of the smartest people I know....Even if she doesn't know that a DVD doesn't need to be rewound and sometimes hits a fridge driving down the interstate. I trust her with my life and the lives of my monsters!

My 30th Birthday....in the midst of nursing school and having a baby that wouldn't stop crying EVER......she stayed home from going to a wedding with her husband and oldest son so she wouldn't miss my day. I love her! Yes she provided me with the lovely accessories that I am wearing. Her turn is coming in May and man I am looking forward to payback!

What Happened to Halloween Costumes???

One of my favorite holiday's is Halloween!!!!!!! Part of that is because it's my mom's birthday and it was soooo much fun growing up. She often dressed up with us and it was made into a big deal. I have carried that tradition on with my own children. When I got divorced and moved back home I figured why not use my wedding dress as a costume.....it's beautiful and my son LOVED the idea! So for the past four Halloween's I have worn my dress and been several different things....bride, fairy, Queen.

Well yesterday my sister and I were hanging out and decided to try on my dress....it doesn't fit. It fell completely off, there were mixed emotions. I was excited that I am smaller then I was when I got married. Yet, I love this dress and I feel so pretty in it. My son also was disappointed to find out that it doesn't fit and was concerned with what I would dress up as. I assured him that I would figure something out.

Now, I am not so sure. My sister and I spent yesterday going to the Halloween store, Target, and a couple of other places. I was thinking that Dorothy from "The Wizard of Oz" would be perfect....however this is what I found....

I mean I am not going to take my kids out trick-or-treating in this outfit! And they are all like this, witches, fairies, princess'. I am looking for something more like this....

This is how Dorothy truly looked...but apparently she has gone slutty along with everyone else. I just don't understand why costumes have taken this route. I am now thinking something from the 50's....I don't know...dressing up is suppose to be fun...but I don't want to flaunt all my goodies!

The prices are also outrageous for the quality of the costume! I don't want to break the bank with Halloween costumes this year! I think that I will hit up Goodwill and see what I can find there!

Another Reason I am not a Wal-Mart fan

Wal-Mart is not my favorite place to shop, lets face it they always have long lines, shelves are always empty, the quality of clothes are not great, trying to return or exchange something practically requires your first born....and the employees leave something to be desired...but my experience their this morning topped them all. Granted this wasn't really Wal-Mart's fault just another reason in the already long list as to why I don't wish to shop there.

My Grandma is 76, she doesn't like to grocery shop anymore, so she gives her list to me or my mom and we go pick up her things and drop them off to her. It is just a much more pleasurable experience for us all this way. So here I am, at Wal-Mart which is unusually busy for a Tuesday morning. I have almost everything on her list, except fresh produce and PRUNES! Why aren't the prunes with the canned fruit, I don't know, so I go and check the baking isle and again....nothing!!!!! I keep seeing this same guy, but really think nothing of it, I am after all on a mission....then ta da with the mixed nuts we have struck gold.....Prunes but wait just then I feel someone touch my back....

I turn around to see this guy standing there, he says "Hi sweetie, I just had to come up and say that I think you are extremely beautiful" I was caught off guard a little but I did smile and say Thank You and then tried to go on about getting my prunes. He then asks "I don't normally do this, but would it be possible for me to get your number?" now, even if he had been the hottest guy around, I am not one to hand out my number to random strangers, but this guy gave me the creeps. I stated "I am sorry, but I have a boyfriend" yes, this is a lie....but I thought it was the easiest way to get away.....boy was I wrong. The next thing he asked was "Ohhhh ok, well could I maybe persuade you into a hug?" YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! I hardly hug the people in my family....excluding my children.....let alone a complete stranger. I smiled and said "I am sorry, I don't think that is a good idea" all the while scanning the empty isle...no one to help me! He said "Ok, well you are very beautiful". Now is a good time to tell you, I had not yet showered, we had a hectic morning getting off to school, I was in torn jeans, t-shirt, and a hat, with no make-up. I was not looking my best....I grabbed my prunes and ran for the produce!

Maybe I have seen way too many murder mysteries or true crime shows, but I wanted out of their as FAST as I could. I had visions of him following me to my car, or watching me and then following my car. Thankfully I don't think any of that happened. I shall now shop with a fake wedding ring on, especially at Wal-Mart....granted that isn't a turn off to some...but maybe it will help.

10 Things I Have Learned Thus Far.....

So I love lists....and I thought that I would post about everything that I have learned in the last year. I have lost 60lbs in a year, and it could have been more....but I slacked off for a few months...4 months to be exact.

1. I am beautiful. At any size!

2. I am strong. I can do anything I put my mind to.

3. Food is my friend, not my enemy.

4. Exercise is goof for the soul.

5. Food doesn't help my emotions, simply hides them.

6. 'Nothing Taste's As Good As Skinny Feels"

7. My actions affect others. Specifically my children. I don't want to pass my eating habits on to them!

8. Eating healthy gives me more energy.

9. Less processed foods and limit diet foods.

10. Water is my best friend.

Just these few things have changed my life forever, I will never go back. It feels good to be able to walk into a store and know that something in their will fit. It feels good to be able to take my boys out walking and still have energy after. I never thought that I would be able to do this, my only regret is that I didn't do this years ago!

Why You Should Track Your Food.....

So there are numerous reasons that we all should track what we eat, weather it be because we want to lose weight, maintain weight, or the few out in the world that exist that want to or may need to gain weight. But lets face it, none of us are friends with people like that.....

So the girl who does my nails went to high school with me and we both go to the same church so I have known her for a long time. I have always been heavy and struggled with my weight. She is tall, thin, blonde and beautiful. Her sister though is heavy, and God Bless Kelly (my nail girl) because she is great support. Every time she see's me she comments on how great I look. So while I was there today, she asked what I was doing to lose the weight which is a common question. She said she had been wanting to ask me but had been nervous about it. I said that I am very open about my weight loss and where I had come from.

So reasons to log our food:

1. Helps reduce mindless eating. How many times have you gone and grabbed the bag of chips curled up on the couch and started watching your t.v. show and munching......next thing you know the show is over and so is the bag of chips.....and you have just consumed 1000's of empty calories! Or keep track of how many soda's you drink? When we eat mindlessly we consume twice as many calories.
                Instead we should take a small bowl remove a serving of chips, put the bag back and then eat your chips. Or if you are craving salty, then have some peanuts and then you get some protein too!

2. Helps you know how many calories you have left after each meal.

3. Helps you pin point habits.

4. Gives you confidence that you can do this!

I honestly think that logging my food has been the reason for my weight loss. Keeping a tally in your head or guessing on how much you eat doesn't work.....I have tried it. I know that there are those out there that disagree, or want the easy way out. Losing weight isn't easy and if you are an emotional eater, then you have to deal with the reasons that you do it. I no longer turn to food for comfort. Yes, I eat what I want....but I don't eat a whole bag of chips, or cookies and I don't eat junk food EVERY day....it's a treat once in a while. These foods are still in my house because I do have kids and I don't want to deny them a treat either. So I have learned how to not eat these foods. This works for me, I know it may not be for everyone!

What I was like Before....

My start weight was 329 pounds. To say that now seems unbelievable. I was in the store the other day with my mom and as we were walking out there was a large woman checking out and she looked like I use to. I asked my mom, "Was I really that Big?" "Yes, you were." was her answer! I love how she never candy coats anything and gives it to me straight.I ate a lot of fast food, sat on my butt a lot and didn't take care of my self much at all. I didn't fit in movie theater seats, in booths, and felt like a whale at the swimming pool!

This picture was taken at Christmas 2010. It's the best one I could find that shows my start weight. Even though it's not great, but it shows enough. When I look at this, I feel like a slob. I can't believe that I allowed myself to get that big, what was I thinking? I was setting a horrible example for my kids. NOW....my healthy choices is rubbing off on at least my 8 year old. My autistic child lives on very few foods....and I doubt that will change anytime soon :(

They both are more active with me though and even come running with me some days. Yes you all heard correctly, my fat butt get's out and RUNS.....while it may not be a long distance....it's something. I will get there. At 329 pounds walking was difficult for long distances. I now walk 3 miles no problem....walk/run that distance is a challenge and I love a good challenge.

I was thinking of posting a current picture....but seeing as how I will be seeing a lot of you in a month....I thought I might make that a surprise and instead show a picture back in May......

This was the 5k for Race for the Cure and we do it every year. I ran a little bit of it...but mostly walked and wasn't completely exhausted this year like in the years past. I also got an XL shirt which was very exciting for me. It was a little tight in my hips but it fit! I am happier in life and LOVE clothes shopping again....everything seems to fit when I pick it off the rack. I am unhappy that my top half is so much smaller then my bottom. I carry my weight in my butt, stomach, hips, and thighs....I always have. My legs are much better and smaller...just wish they were even smaller and more toned....Body Pump should help with that!!!!!

It's The First Week of School

I am sorry that I haven't written in awhile we had an eventful and emotional end to our summer. While most parents are looking forward to school starting, I am one of the rare ones that tends to dread it. I enjoy having my boys home with me and spending time with them. While I want them to both grow up and be smart intelligent men, I also just want to keep them as mommy's boys! :)

School started on Monday and yes it was a FULL day......can you believe this? How dare they make these kids go for a full day on the first day of school, especially the kindergartners. My 5 year old hasn't been gone from me for that long other then the weekends he is at his dad's, but you get my point. So I got up at 5:30 on Monday and showered and got all ready and headed out to the kitchen where I prepared amazing food for my two little monsters.....

Yummy pancakes, one with peanut butter....he takes after his momma :) The other one I sneaked some butter on cause lets face it the kid doesn't get enough fat in his diet! Then the glorious bacon.....mmmmmmmmm I wish my mom had made this for me when I was a kid, but I was lucky to get a cold bowl of cereal :)

So we did our morning routine and the boys got all dressed and ready for school. When it was time to go out and wait for the bus however, Cole melted down. Yes this is that autism poking it's head into my perfect morning....but that is ok, because I was prepared. After some cuddling from me and hearing the school bus approach he was ready to go. He got on the bus like a big boy with the help of his brother. I then headed up to school with my parents to wait for their arrival. Routine is very big for autistic kids and they don't like to deviate or else I would have just taken them on their first day.

Cole got off the bus like a champ.....Adam however had both book bags and both lunch boxes and Cole's hand trying to direct him to his kindergarten line while the principal helped. Yes that is right, the Principal at our school is outside EVERY morning to great the kids and help the "special" ones and lets face they are ALL special to the right spot. I love that man! We waited with Cole while both his teachers made their way down the line introducing themselves.....we tried to get a picture but Cole wasn't all that cooperative....

He looks so sad....they then headed in and the Principal took his hand helping him and said mom, we will see you in the library for coffee....and that was that. My child was on his own so to speak and I was heart broken. I am familiar around the school since Adam is in 3rd grade.....and some of the mom's were very supportive as well as the teachers it was very comforting....

This is my 3rd grader....

So after all my stress about how Cole would do, he has had an awesome week! He is my big boy and I am so proud of him....Adam is doing great and loves his teacher who is in the picture above with him. I have high hopes for both of them this year and know that with the support of this amazing school they both can become great students!

What is Herpetic gingivostomatitis??????

Well, I had never heard of this crazy virus before, well actually I had as Herpes Simplex.....but this experience was all new and I could have completely avoided it!!!!!

My wonderful 8 year old decided to share this with me, a week ago last Wednesday he woke up not feeling well. Headache, body aches and just tired. He laid in bed all day. He had no fever and no other complaints...he wasn't that interested in eating or drinking though. By Wednesday evening his throat was hurting, I came home from Zumba to a very sick little boy :(

Thursday morning I took him up to a prompt care for a throat swab, I was certain that he had strep throat, his gums had become splotches as well and he now had a fever. The rapid strep test was negative and so they sent it off to the lab but gave us an antibiotic anyway.....Friday morning came and his tongue was swollen and he had developed sores all over his mouth, he was in tears. I called the pediatrician in a panic they made us an appointment for that afternoon and hoped that his strep results would be back by then.

He was diagnosed with this Herpetic gingivostomatiitis which is a virus, but they did give him an antiviral medicine and some magic mouth was that helped take the pain away....as we were leaving my throat started to hurt, I was like you have got to be kidding me, this is not happening. By the time I got home and took the boys to their dad's for the weekend (and yes there was drama there about not wanting the sick kids around the baby.....again you gotta be kidding me) I had a fever and body aches....so off to the prompt care I went.

My rapid strep test was negative as well so the doctor treated me for the same virus that my son had, on Sunday morning I get a call as I am feeling like crap from my ex husband that he thinks my other son is coming down with it as well. I started to give him the number for the after hours clinic because they would be able to call him in a prescription, and he informs me that he can't take him anywhere if they want to see him, you have got to be friggin kidding me....

So off to their dad's house I go to pick up the boys, I call after hours and start getting asked all the questions that I don't have the answer too...yes their father should have been doing all this....my dad and I end up taking my 5 year old to the ER because they are worried about dehydration he wasn't drinking anything!

As I am in the ER the lab calls about my strep test and I do have it as well, my weekend just keeps getting better and better!!!!! So we get home and get the boys situated and I end up crashing out, I felt like garbage.

Monday was spent fighting with the Dr.'s office to get a prescription called in for my strep, I am allergic to penicillin which is a pain in the butt....so finally they get ethuromycin three times a day for 10 days. By Wednesday I was puking constantly and had horrible stomach pain....I ended up in the ER at 4 am. Thursday, this is a side effect of the antibiotic, while my children were feeling better, I felt like a mach truck had hit me!!!!!

The zofran and pain meds did help get me over the side effects, I was started on a new antibiotic and have ended up with a yest infection which is now better, I think that we have bleached, Lysol, and disinfected the entire house.

This virus never needs to visit our house again! I am glad that I feel better finally!!!!! Hope everyone else had a great week. I did lose 6 pounds during this period of time. It's back to Zumba tomorrow and it will hurt and maybe kill me, I can not wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday's at the pool

So we have this pretty nice pool near our house, it's not that expensive, it's clean, and not completely over crowded. My mom doesn't work on Thursdays so we have a standing date to take the boys swimming. They both LOVE it. Adam use to be afraid of the water, but he is much more comfortable now and is taking swim lessons. Cole has never been afraid of the water, which would scare the heck out of me because he was such a dare devil and jump in. He too is doing awesome kicking and going underwater, hopefully he will be swimming soon as well. He takes private swim lessons because he would be lost in a swim class.

So, here we were on a beautiful day sitting in the kiddie pool. The boys were having a blast. Adam's friend from school showed up so he left and went to the big pool with him. I left Cole with my mom and headed over to say hello to Adam's friends mom. While I was gone, apparently Cole was going around hugging random little girls. I know that this behavior is in appropriate, however for an autistic child to show affection is odd. Except with Cole, he is very loving and likes to be touched. My mom got up and got him and explained that we don't go around hugging people......there were three mom's sitting there talking about it. saying "What's wrong with him?" "Why is he doing that?" Now here is the difference between mom and me, she didn't say anything. I however would have taken it as an opportunity to educate some gossipy moms! Granted, I use to be that mom. I was very judgemental of other people's kids. We have all seen them, throwing fits in the store, running around out of control. I however, have become much more tolerant since Cole came into my life. I don't automatically think what horrible parents, or what is wrong with that child.

While randomly hugging stranger is an odd behavior, I would much rather him be doing this then hitting, biting, pushing, or pinching others. There was another little boy who pushed Cole out of the way, so he could play with something Cole was using, while Cole was telling him No. My mom intervened and reprimanded the child. There was another child who walked right into me and Cole holding hands trying to break through, I said "excuse you, you may go around". I realize that we can't have eyes on our children ALL the time, however, I don't take my kids to the pool and just leave them to their own demise. I don't go lay in a chair and read a book, or sit on the side of the pool chatting with my friends, completely oblivious to what my children are doing. I don't leave it up to the life guards to discipline them.

I love how relaxed Cole is in the pool and the interaction that Adam can have with him there. It's an amazing opportunity for them to play together, something Cole doesn't do very well. I am glad that Adam wasn't around when either of these instances took place. He is VERY protective of his little brother and he would have said something to both the child and the moms and not been very nice about it. I can't say that I blame him1

Ok, so I took a stab at this a while back and had a falling out with my mother. Well not a falling out, just a fight, and as anyone with a mother or daughter knows, those can be bad. So, anyway we are moving on up and forward. So here I am back in the blogging world. I decided however that this isn't just a weight loss blog because lets face it, there is a ton more to me then just my weight. I figure I should give you a little back ground, I hope you don't get too bored.......

I am 31, divorced (thank the Lord!) and a mother to two of the most amazing boys God has ever created. Yes, that is MY opinion and I am allowed to have it! Even when they drive me to pull my hair out! We are currently living with my parents, where would I be without them???? I mean come one, how many parents get a call from their daughter out of the blue saying she is getting a divorce and needs you to come get her and her two kids......well mine didn't bat an eye so here we are. It's three years later, they helped me graduate from college and helped me raise my kids. They have afforded me the ability to not work while I was going to school full time. I graduated last August, but just walked in June. I graduated Magna Cum Laude, which I must admit was TOTALLY AWESOME!!!!!!

I do not yet have a job and for good reason, at least I think so and my parents agree so it must be good! My youngest son is autistic. He was diagnosed just before he turned three. My world was a mess when that diagnosis came...he was completely non-verbal until he was about 3 1/2, he was in pre-school and getting speech from there, but me being the amazing mom I am thought he needed more. I hired a private speech therapist and she got him talking. Granted he will not come up and start a conversation with you, yes he does talk in a whisper most of the time, but he does speak! He is very smart and loving, just an amazing kid. He starts kindergarten in August and I am terrified, hoping that he transitions well. I will then start the hunt for my amazing job!!!!!

My oldest is also remarkable, not trying to leave him out. He wants to be a paleontologist and knows almost everything there is to know about dinosaurs. He is growing up so fast, he will start third grade this fall. He gets straight A's and is my easy kid. Lets face it, we all need one of those!

I am an emotional eater and I had allowed myself to balloon up to 329 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!! That was last August, I started to do Zumba, swimming, and recently added Body Pump.....I am down to....drum roll please....274 pounds and I feel amazing. My oldest loves being able to wrap his arms around me touch his fingers, I admit that is pretty cool too. I love that my lifestyle change has rubbed off on him. He makes better choices now too. Wonderful things lie ahead for all three of us.....